A Surprise Birthday

It was last year in August, I was booking my tickets online as I, along with my 11 months old boy, had to visit my parents in the USA. My husband wasn’t going because he had to work. Deciding which date would be suitable based on the lowest available fares. There it was, 15th Aug – direct flight – great timings. I booked it right away. A week before my trip was my husband’s birthday (i assumed). Three years of marriage, but still it was the first time we were going to be together on his bday as I always travel to my parents in summers. I had everything planned in my mind.

I would give a little birthday surprise to him on 8th Aug, I was gonna buy him a beautiful wristwatch. I ordered birthday decorations. Got all my cake ingredients in the pantry. Made a 5-minute movie with all our lovely pictures in it. Yes, I do that very professionally. Everything was going according to my plan, and I was feeling on top of everything. It was a day before the celebration day when we were out in a mall, buying the wristwatch I was planning to give him on his birthday. Yes, we don’t surprise each other with gifts… we buy them together. Once we were done, my husband said, ‘now I’m going to wait till 16th Aug to wear this watch’!!!!!!

I said, “why, 16th? You can wear it on 8th on your birthday”.

Long pause…

“My birthday is on 16th Aug,” he said.

At that very moment… my world almost collapsed. I felt my trust-breaking within me for my own self. 8 years of a long-distance relationship, 3 years of marriage… never have I ever in all these years, forgotten my husband’s birthday. My life was always circling around him, it was all about making him happy, and nothing else really mattered much. But at that moment of unacceptable truth… I just didn’t know what to say or do. The worst part was, I booked my flight only a day before his birthday… I was going to leave him all alone… again… on the very day, I was supposed to make him the happiest man.

No, my bookings were not flexible, though I still called the airline’s office and tried to convince them. Now, I recalled the moment when I told my husband about the flight dates. He looked at me with an unusually disappointing face.. but then didn’t say anything and surmised that his birthday was probably not that important (why these men are so calm about everything?). He wasn’t seemingly mad at me and not sad apparently… but from where I think… I was the worst wife ever. I couldn’t stop blaming myself for forgetting his birthday. It was probably my recently diagnosed thyroid dysfunction, which played games with my mind or why else on earth I would assume something so stupidly incorrect. And why, 8th ?? Why? There were no answers to any of my questions. No excuses I could think of. What is done is done.

I apologized in all possible ways, and he, being himself, told me that its nothing to be sorry about. Instead, he started joking about the whole situation to make me feel better and lighten my mood, but every effort he made was only pushing me further into the black hole of guilt.

Fast forward… We celebrated his bday the day before my flight. Everything went as planned.. only the dates were mixed up… Yeah!! No big deal, right? I couldn’t forgive myself. It’s been a year, and I still feel terrible about the whole situation and how he had to spend his bday all alone. It was then I realized one thing about forgiveness…..
Forgiving others is easy.
Forgiving yourself is hard.

Forgiving others is easy.

Forgiving yourself is hard.

Written in response to the word FORGIVENESS in Tale Weaver by mindlovemiserysmenagerie

14 thoughts on “A Surprise Birthday

  1. Thanks for sharing your story Sobia, birthdays can be fraught with anxiety especially when we forget or mix up the dates. I think its sometimes worse when your own is forgotten.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I enjoyed reading the story, and laughed at the question about why men are so calm 🤣. Hopefully this year you have tattooed the date 🤣

    Liked by 2 people

  3. That is very well written, I enjoyed it from the beginning till the end. Is it a true story?
    Anyone can forget something or get things in the mix. The most important thing is that we care about each other. I’ll take a ‘wrong-date-birthday-celebration’ every time of the year!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. The date may have been a blur, the moment your heart will surely try to forget. Maybe someday, you will surprise yourself. When not forgiving yourself, eclipsed by the love… for each other! Blessings!🙏🏽

    Liked by 3 people

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